isn't crazy?

salam to all muslim n hye to ya'll.

*sigh*
i dunno how to start,n i not even know where to start..it's jst a damn painfull feeling deep inside my heart.i'm not married yet,might be soon..MIGHT be.n i don't know how does it feel like when u get married,does ur life getting better,does ur relationship getting smoother.does ur understanding become deeper n does ur attitude,dcsion become more mature.

someone,could u please tell me..do u need to change for the sake of your partner/what do they do after that,do they change for you,do they thank u for ur change or he just take it as a responsibility just for a women.women need to sacrifice for their relationship.

i'm a fairlady (as i mentioned in my previous post)which is,what i give, i do need the to 'take'. for me it do not mean that i'm not sincere with everything that i sacrifice,for me 'take' is just the way for me to feel appreciated for what i sacrificed.the way to thank me.it does not mean it must be in the same way.it can be in many ways.it's just me.sometimes ur patner will ask u to change,or ur future marry life will not become happier if u not change.n for that i'll keep asking,what will i get for the 'take' part.

sometimes i just feel that i'm way too far for thinking of that. cuz if u do something sincere u do not have to as for the payback. it will come itself right ur way just the way u need it,or maybe better.but it just me.i dunno maybe cause i used to be a 'tomboy' make my ego as strong as men,i cannot bear to just follow, i do have right to speak.don't u think so?has anyone of u ever think about that?u do have right to speak out.u do have right to say what u belief,u have right to ask for what u want.cause we r human.that's y we need the right to represent our right.

i dunno if it just me who think this way.maybe after i'm getting married,the decesion will be more mature.my attitude will be more reasonable.me,myself will sacrifice more for the sake of relationship.i dunno.maybe me today can say this in my post,show that how much i'm such a fairlady but in future it may change drasticly..

of course everybody want to be a perfect wife a perfect mother and a perfect women.but wether we can achieve that it just us to choose that,it just us to drive that.i'm so scared for the reality that my marriage will be ruin bcoz i feel that i'm giving more n i do not have any for the sake of myself...

friend..what do u think,how do u feel..just let me know.*sigh*damn chaotic.

cik yat.28 February 2008.